It's interesting how life works out. I think I have it figured out - at least some small part of it - and I am invariably shocked to learn how little I actually have a grasp on in the end. I'm a pretty hard worker and a fairly competent guy ... again, on at least some small level. And yet so often I seem unable to work even the slightest fraction of this grand scheme of my life toward the direction I think it should go.
Why is it that so little control seems attainable in the comings-and-goings of our lives? Is it because our existence is simply the sum total of innumerable variables, acted upon by a myriad of free-will choice-makers under the conditions of uncountable environmental conditions? That would be a quintessential characterization of chaos, and, while our world seems so often to be built out of and producing of chaos, there is still too much harmony and accord to make an explanation for this life from chaos and variability and the happenstance of complex mathematic inevitability.
Which leaves - in contrast - an explanation rooted in something-other-than-chaos. More and more, I see the intricate tendrils of this Other-Than weaving through world about me. I have seen how the denial of things that I desperately wanted working out for nothing short of my protection, my betterment, my good, as well as for the good of those around me. Not always pleasant, these circumstances amalgamate with a plethora of others, revealing an order and a synergy beyond anything that I could have ever conceived, let alone orchestrate.
I am not so clever and put together as I would hope to claim, but it is in my utter weakness and desperation that the real beauty of my time here on earth emerges. It is this weakness that shows the grander scheme behind the apparent chaos, the purpose in what seems random, the goodness that supplants the appearance of evil.
It is the grand Other-Than.
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