things change so rapidly, faster than my disheveled mind can possibly keep up with, and i find that i spend more time trying to catch up and recover lost ground than in actually living in the here-and-now of life and looking ahead to what is coming my way.
and this change isn’t always – or even usually – bad, but it takes what was normal, familiar, and safe and 
twirls it in a maelstrom of the unknown. that’s life right now, and it is both exciting (when i remember to look ahead) and nerve-wracking (when i get caught up looking backwards).
it’s actually a bit comical that i get caught up in this looking-to-times-already-gone-and-spent, as i profess and attempt to live a life of forward-looking faith. i make sense of so much senselessness by holding to an understanding that there is an ultimate (and good) end to all the evils of this life, to all the pains and uncertainties. but then again, i suppose it is also part-and-parcel of living life that faith is a journey with ups, downs, spins, u-turns, and hiccups along the way.
that said … i'm more excited about the days to come than i have been in a very, very long time!
peace – b
