the twists and turns

You know, I am always amazed at the way life tends to work itself out. I never know what the next day (or really, the next MOMENT) will really bring my way. I really didn’t think that I would be sitting here in my parents’ kitchen typing on my lappy on a Tuesday night in the middle of August – but here I am.

Here I am indeed, after a whirlwind trip back up north. Mom had surgery today to deal with some craziness in the form of cysts and masses in her uterine area. While I know that she is in good Hands, while I was able to support and encourage her, the family, friends, and concerned people with that knowledge, and while I believe wholeheartedly that everything would work out for Glory and good ... right now I’m in a place to actually reflect back on the what-ifs.

What if the cysts were more than benign?

What if the fibrous tumors were cancerous?

What if I had to say goodbye or know that I would have to soon?

What if Dad were left alone after all these years?

What if, what if ...

Unsettling to say the least. Scary to be more honest. I love my Mom. She’s a pretty amazing, incredible woman. It would be wretchedly hard to be parted from her now, even if that parting were only so very, very brief in the grand scheme of eternity.

But I guess those words ring even truer to me in this moment:

Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about
those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of
men, who have no hope. We believe that Jesus died
and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring
with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him.

Sorrow mixed with joy. Ironic. And yet I am so grateful in this moment that God has allowed this world to be blessed by Mom for even one more day to come.

And I am hopeful for many more than that.

attitude or action

there is a great discussion rolling about that i've been able to join in on ... namely the idea of, for those of us who want to be a positive influence on our fellow man, what should we focus on: the attitude of the person or the actions?

the notion is that focusing on actions breeds or forces conformity to a standard or code, but does little to effect any substantive change in the individual, while focusing on an individual’s attitude will result in deep-seated change that manifests in appropriate action. with this, i heartily agree.

here is my hitch … no society (zero, zilch, nada) has been able to operate in this manner. more over, no religious group or sect has been able to manifest this into a tenable, sustainable, and effectual system either. both society-at-large and religion-at-large has seen the need to codify and enforce standards and expectations in order to preserve unity, promote good, and protect constituents. if there are capable individuals who believe and pursue the attitude-change model, why has it not been “enforced” apart from official rules?

i think the real problem here is a base, fundamental problem. it’s a three letter word that we have come to disdain not for its truth-in-fact but because of our belief that it can’t apply to me. it’s the problem of sin. we are not able – in-and-of ourselves – to live in any kind of utopian-my-heart-has-really-changed kind of world because we will constantly, repeatedly, sometimes even eagerly respond not in like fashion to what we know to be good or right. rather, we will react in selfish ways, in ways that belie our knowledge of the reasonable and demonstrate a base, ignoble view of ourselves, others, and the world in general. humanity bears the constant burden this side of heaven of the ugliness of sin.

the real danger here is that if we rely on influencing society only through the change of heart, we ignore the problem of sin. so how do we protect both those who would feel the repercussions of our base, ignoble views as well as ourselves who hold these base ignoble views?

while profound, substantive change can only occur in the presence of a true attitude change, history and logic lead to the conclusion that something more is needed to guide and direct that change, in essence a framework within which that process can arise. but herein lies the struggle: if it is merely a human endeavor, it is fraught with the same burden of being constructed by hands steeped in sin as the effort to rely on heart change alone.

so where do we go from here?